Shakespeare In Love
by charredfeathers
Summary: In which a very drunk Zero tries to woo his dark-haired beauty.


**Shakespeare In Love **

….

**Summary: **In which a very drunk Zero tries to woo his dark-haired beauty.

**Author-person:** Inspiration hit me like a heavy mallet to the head.

OOC-ness, people!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Vampire Knight.

….

He cursed under his breath and fixed his tie for what seemed like the tenth time that night.

The faint light of the moon shone on him, seemingly serving as some sort of spotlight for his greatest performance yet. He wasn't the littlest bit pleased that the moon _coincidentally _decided to position itself in his location. Clearly that big hunk of space rock in the sky was mocking him, he thought inwardly. It was a conspiracy! Stupid heavenly bodies wanted to laugh at him… They were worse than Kuran and his stupid gentlemanliness.

_-hic-_

A current of air passed and sent the grass rippling under his feet, swaying subtly as if trying to relieve him of the imaginary tension he was feeling. The scent of the early night air was immensely appealing as it wafted to his direction, ruffling his silver hair and brushing against his pale face. It would have been calming in any other night. Any other NORMAL night, he would have been tempted to sleep instead of deciding to make a spur-of-the-moment confession.

This night was different, though.

Because he was drunk.

_Incredibly _drunk.

Everyone knew that Zero Kiryuu would never have gotten himself into such a state. Intentionally, at least. He would have simply never allowed something so absurd happen to him. But in this case, it was inevitable. It was a little accident that happened in the nearby town. While on an unavoidable hunt, Zero toppled over a barrel of liquor and tripped on his feet, thereby sloshing the alcohol all over himself. Impossible, yes? Not when the vampire that the silver-haired boy was hunting got unintended help from a certain Noble Blood, who inadvertently pushed the wine-filled cask in the way.

_-hic- Damn that -hic- Ichijou -hic- -sempai. _

Stuffing one hand in his pocket, he drew out a crumpled piece of paper and smoothed it out slowly, obviously trying to stall.

Kaien Cross pelted pebbles at the back of his head.

"_WHAT?!" _Zero slurred, flailing his arms wildly in the air. The boy rubbed the offended body part and grumbled.

"Quit stalling and get on with it!"

"Master!? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Shut up and just start the damn show." Yagari waved one hand dismissively and shoved a handful of puffy kernels into his mouth.

Zero gritted his teeth and gave his master a one-fingered salute. The man only laughed in response.

"Kids grow up so fast,"

"True." Kaien nodded in fervent agreement.

Deciding to ignore his audience, the male prefect cleared his throat again and exhaled. He tilted his face upwards to the direction of the open window before he started reading the paper clutched in his hands.

"My dark-haired beauty," Zero yelled in a voice that was a pitch higher than his usual.

"I cannot begin to tell you how my heart yearns for thee-"

He thumped at his chest exaggeratedly and waved the piece of paper in the air.

"Thou art the most exquisite of all dames this humble man has ever laid eyes on. The Aphrodite of this mortal world! The epitome-eth of all that is beauteous! No one can hope to compare-eth to thee, for thou art perfection-eth. Flawless, unscathed, and untouched by the imperfections of this corrupt-eth world-eth!"

"Where in hell did he learn Anglo-Saxon?" Yagari asked in a whisper while steadying the video camera in his hands.

"Please! I'm trying watch!" Pulling a pack of tissues from his thick coat, the Headmaster sniffed, a river of tears pouring down his face.

"Sentimental bastard."

"My dark-haired beauty, I love you! More than I have loved anyone in my entire human slash vampire life. I love thee as much as a bird loves the endless blue sky, as much as a fish loves the vast expanse of the salty -slightly tangy- ocean, "

"I love thee with the heat of a thousand burning suns! With a force that can move mountains! In all the colors of the rainbow and in all the shades of Aido's stupid multi-colored tutu!"

….

"Achoo!"

"Got a cold?"

"No, no. I think someone's talking about me, Kain."

"Tch. Probably your fan girls again."

"Ahh…"

….

"Oh my dark-haired beauty, thou art the butter to my bread, the pen to my paper and the Tylenol to my headache. To me, thou art the brightest of the brightest stars, shining… well… brightly in the dark velvet sky. Thou art the sun rising up from the horizon as dawn approaches, the moon that rises to its zenith as night comes. You are everything I have always desired and more!"

"And so, my dark-haired beauty, this heart, however imperfect or blemished it may be, I want you to accept it." He thumped at his chest again. "It is yours, and yours alone."

Zero's voice cracked at the near end. He looked up from the paper he was holding and glanced up at the window again. No one was there. But it didn't dampen his unusually high spirits. Because he was positive that she heard him. He was sure that his feelings reached her.

He spun on his heel and faced the two grown men who were hidden in the shrubbery a few feet away. They gave him a thumbs up as he grinned in triumph.

"If and when he graduates, we are definitely going to play this during the ceremony."

"Goodbye, my dark-haired beauty! I bid you-" He blew a kiss. "Adieu!"

And like the happy little drunk that he was, Zero trotted off to the direction of the woods, swaying unsteadily and following his feet wherever they may take him.

….

"Wow. Just utterly… wow."

"Is he gone?"

"He is. Though, I was a tad disappointed. You could have at least waved goodbye. Or professed your own love for him. How romantic! Just like in a shoujo manga!"

"Shut up."

"Now, now, Kaname. Don't be like that. Kiryuu-kun went through all the trouble of preparing a very… interesting confession for his 'dark-haired beauty'." Ichijou Takuma snickered as he sank down on the couch, the moonlight bouncing off of his blonde hair.

"Ichijou," Kaname Kuran pinched the bridge if his nose "You and I both know to whom that little speech was originally intended for."

"Ah yes… for Yuuki-chan who is located at the other end of this Academy."

Kaname nodded once and fervently hoped that the Noble Blood would keep his thoughts to himself.

Unfortunately for him, Ichijou did not want to let go of the subject.

"Still, the title quite suits you, Dorm Head." The blonde crossed his legs, grinned and splayed his hand dramatically across his chest. "Oh, my dark-haired beauty, how my heart yearns for thee… See? If I hadn't known that the boy was straight, I would have assumed that-"

"Seriously, Ichijou. Shut up before I castrate you."

….

**Author-person:** Haha. I don't know where this came from.

Please Review!


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